An unusual path towards healing...
I love how interested everyone seems to be in sourdough lately and whenever I post a story on Instagram, or anything related to sourdough, it’s just received with so much interest.
And lately, I’ve been kind of thinking about why I personally love it so much and there’s a few reasons behind why I enjoy it, and why I even started down this sourdough adventure making.
About a year ago I started to notice people getting into sourdough. I’ve always liked sourdough bread, but had never actually made it myself…
When I was younger, I honestly thought it was made with sour cream, clearly had no idea how it was actually made!
Fast forward to about a year ago, it was only around 3 months after losing my brother (in-law) who was my big brother in every sense of the word, my grief was still so raw and heavy, I was just trying to keep myself moving forward.
Around this time I was on a zoom call with other female entrepreneurs and the guest speaker on talking about some really interesting topics but the one that stood out to me was how she started making bread sourdough specifically throughout her own healing process. I found it interesting the way she talked about how she found it so therapeutic and it peaked my interest even more.
It still took a few months before I actually started my own sourdough adventures, but her story stuck with me and stayed at the forefront of my mind when I started playing with sourdough.
I know it may seem an odd thing but…
I just really needed something to channel
some of my sadness and emotions into!
Normally in really difficult times I’d get even more active, running, yoga, something really physical to help ease and release the pain or stress but grief knocked me to my knees and there was no way I could do what I used to do…still I knew I needed an outlet. This was one small thing that I could do in a really difficult time that helped me disrupt some of the numbness I was experiencing.
In the past when I’ve gone through a heavy, hard times like my marriage ending, not only did I go more inward to process all of my feelings and emotions, but I also needed to do something active to physically release all that was going on inside of me. Usually it was running or going lifting weights, a lot of running to be honest. With running I could get out in nature, the methodical rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement allowed me to let go, clear my mind and release the emotions in a way that felt good for me.
You might be wondering what on earth does this have to do with sourdough, I just want to bake bread Jillian!
I share all of this because I’ve noticed a shift, whether others see it or not, in how we’re approaching life these days. As women especially, I see a longing for things that help us feel more grounded, connected to ourselves, connected to life and I know that seems really deep for this topic but the pace that we’ve been living at has exhausted us.
We’re burning out.
Whether it’s burnout from grief, hustle culture, the heaviness of the world these last four years or something else you’ve experienced, I sense a longing for things that nurture us and tend to our heavy hearts collectively.
It’s not to say that this one thing is the thing that fixes all the thing, if only it were that simple huh? lol
But it is one thing that has been very therapeutic for me; creating and making bread is different than cooking other foods.
Thinking back to what this woman shared in that business group call, I started to see how through this simple act of making bread, going through the motions, the process, the patience of it all really was so therapeutic. It causes you to slow down, helps us be more present and mindful in the little things that make up our day and can be incredibly calming.
It can become a great creative outlet, a fun hobby that offers us a sense of personal enjoyment that just happens to be delicious!
And I know that sounds incredibly deep for a sourdough blog lol…but it really has been part of my journey in picking up the pieces of my life after death of a loved one. I am by no means ‘healed’, grief doesn’t work like that but I’m on a journey to creating a life that I feel has value, meaning and creativity. It’s been something to pour my heart into - making something that everyone seems to love.
As I thought about it, I think it’s the fascination with the process of watching something come to life, literally, because a sourdough starter is live yeast and bacteria!
It’s so cool to see how just a few ingredients grow before your eyes and can transform into something that nourishes our bodies.
It’s a reminder that there’s so much life out there and it’s pretty amazing sometimes, sometimes incredibly painful, but there’s still so much beauty around us in these seemingly small and mundane things that we don’t otherwise notice.
Then there’s the kneading of the bread, this is really where I personally find that mindfulness part. There's something about that process of taking these ingredients and physically kneading it
stretching it
folding it
feeling it physically change..
It can be really soothing to the nervous system.
I’ll end with this…
Your reasons for wanting to learn about sourdough may simply be to make bread or learn something new but here are some things that benefit all of us when learning new things and working with our hands.
It’s good for our brains to learn new things and to do hands on activities (kneading, shaping bread)
Having hobbies, just for sheer enjoyment are good for our mental well being
Encourages mindfulness which boosts happiness and feeling good
It feels really good when you find something you enjoy doing that’s not related to your job or other responsibilities
Having hobbies can help lower stress, improve physical and mental health, help us sleep better at night and improve our general sense of satisfaction in life because we’re doing things that make us just a little bit happier!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my healing story
and about my journey into sourdough!
I know it may not be typical, yet I feel that many women are seeking more ways to nurture themselves and their families in ways that feel rooted in the gentler rhythms contrary to hustle culture.
I do offer sourdough workshops in the London ON area.
If this is something that interests I do have some workshops coming up that you can read more about them here.
